Penny For Your Thoughts
by Lonesome Road
Summary: I didn't mean to let it get this way. I really didn't. I did try to tell him, I tried so hard, but he'd always been good at avoiding people and eventually I quit trying. So I did it alone, she was beautiful, and she was mine. He didn't know about her and by then I didn't want him to know. Then again, Matt Murdock had always had a way of finding out things I didn't want him to know.


**Another story**

 **I know**

 **Shut up**

 **I really like this one. Fight me.**

 **(JK I love you guys, read and review XD) -Lonesome**

* * *

I loved Hell's Kitchen.

I really did. I mean, sure, it was dirty and garbage-infested and probably had the highest crime rate in America.

But it was home.

My home, I thought with a soft smile on my face as watched brown waves bounce in the air, excited giggles echoing around the park. A hyper four-year old screamed as she ran around with the other children of the Kitchen. All kids were precious, this was common knowledge, but this one, my lips quirked as they lingered on her, this one was special, this one was mine.

A twinge of pain pricked at me and I winced, taking my attention away from Penny as I adjusted the scarf around my neck.

Urgh. A scarf in the summer, I hated it but it was, unfortunately, necessary, at least for the moment. Grimacing, I found my eyes back on the toddler as she played with the other kids, the sight causing something in me to soften.

Sighing, I continued to watch her, a slight frown marring my brow. Penny was my everything and I needed to protect her.

Even if it hurt me.

Shaking away the bad thoughts, I breathed out slowly, letting the laughing little girl encompass my vision. Beautiful brown eyes and beautiful brown hair paired with a beautiful smile, my lips curled up, she was beautiful. All the good traits of her father without the defects of her mother. I couldn't ask for a more perfect little girl.

Too busy with marveling at how something so amazing came from me, I didn't take notice of any of the passers-by, which in retrospect, was probably my big mistake.

"Jules?" an unbelieving splutter tore me away from my reverie, my attention landing squarely on a familiar looking silhouette. I sucked in a breath, clenching my teeth, Franklin Nelson stood in front me, looking flabbergasted. "Jules," he reiterated, his face stretching into a wide grin, "It's you,"

"Foggy," my voice was wobbly and unsure, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. "You're... you're here."

If the dread I felt so deeply showed, Foggy made no notice, his head nodding vigorously.

"Holy crap," he breathed "I can't believe you're here! I mean, seriously!" He was grinning wider than I'd thought possible, his arms gesticulating wildly as he began to tell some story.

I didn't listen, I couldn't, all I could focus on was how Foggy Goddamn Nelson was right in front of me. I never thought I'd see him again, and yet here he was, and wherever Foggy was, _He_ was never far behind. Oh no, this wasn't happening, it couldn't be.

"It's so good to see you!" the blonde man sat on the bench next to me, his grin never fading, "I thought you moved away,"

Cringing, I gave him a grimace, "I did," my lips pursed and I looked away, "Moved back into the Kitchen about a month ago," I tried to keep my voice indifferent and aloft as I steadily avoided his gaze.

Foggy's grin drooped slightly, "Hey," his tone was suddenly soft and I winced, "I know that we didn't part on the.. well the best of terms, but it really is good to see you."

My shoulders fell and I sighed, turning back to the man, a frown pulling at my face, it was impossible to stay upset with him. Groaning, my head fell backwards, my eyes closing. "Your hair is shorter,"

I heard Foggy snort at my comment, "It looks better like this," he countered and I almost felt the grin in his voice.

"You finally become some big hot-shot lawyer?" I could hear my own exhaustion.

"Something like that," he chuckled, "Me and Matt opened up our own firm,"

"Nelson and Murdock?" I cracked an eyelid in interest, "You actually did it?"

Foggy nodded enthusiastically, looking every bit the bright-eyed lovable idiot that I remembered so fondly.

"It's great!" He practically gushed, "I mean, it's still new and we're still struggling a little, but it's great,"

"Bagels every day?" I questioned, perking an eyebrow.

Chuckling, he shook his head, "I wish, but we're not quite there financially, we need to get a few more cases first." The blonde looked a little forlorn, but the smile stayed on his face, "We're helping people, though" his voice was soft, "You should see Matt in action."

Letting out a breathy laugh, I shook my head, "Maybe someday,"

Something must have shown in my voice because Foggy winced, "Sorry," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck, "You probably don't wanna talk about him, do you?"

A shrieking laugh tugged at my attention, an ice-cold shard of guilt impaling itself solidly in my stomach. Foggy was very much right in me not wanting to have anything to do with Matt... but I couldn't be selfish.

Frowning, I let out a breath and straightened up again, letting the exhausted words flow out, "It might be unavoidable,"

Foggy's brow furrowed, "What do you mean?" he asked uncertainly, sounding a little anxious.

A long sigh pulled itself out of me and I gave him a tired smile, "I might be able to help with your case problem," I said the words softly, just loud enough for him to hear.

I don't really know what kind of reaction I was expecting, maybe a 'really?' or a 'what is it?' or something like. But the way Foggy grabbed my shoulder, his eyes burning with an intensity I didn't know he had definitely threw me off guard.

"Jules," he sounded so serious, "Are you okay?" He was staring at me with a heavy expression, mouth pressed into a thin line.

I blinked at him, pursing my lips, this was weird.

Foggy, thankfully, seemed to realize this and dropped his hand, grimacing.

"Sorry," he offered lamely, "Do you wanna talk about it at the office? My next appointment's not until tomorrow,,"

Faking a glance at my watch, I grimaced again, pretending to check the time, "Umm," I replied, flicking my attention towards my phone screen, "Yeah, I've got some time," I didn't have anything else to do today, but I couldn't let him know that.

Nodding, Foggy stood up, "Come on," he grinned, "I'll walk you,"

Okay, this was actually happening, fantastic. Keeping the grimace on my face, I stood up, holding out a hand when Foggy tried to start walking and ignored his confused look.

"Penny!" I called, waiting for the little girl to come barreling at me from the crowd of other kids she had been playing with. Which she did, headfirst and into my stomach. Gasping and clutching at the giggling brunette chatterbox, I hauled her onto my hip and picked up my purse.

"Alright," I tried to repress my nerves and turned back to Foggy, "Let's go,"

He blinked at me, his eyes locked onto Penny, his opened and closed several times and I felt my throat close.

"You a.. you a nanny now?" He asked, obviously unsure.

I shook my head, "Nope,"

"You... you watching a her for a friend or something?"

I gave him a tight smile, "Or something,"

I could see Foggy's mind whirring, the gears behind his eyes shifting and clunking as he tried to come up with an explanation. An explanation that he shouldn't know.

"So," I stepped towards him, projecting a perfect 'I-don't-care' facade, "You wanna show me the way?"

* * *

The silence was deafening, weighing down oppressively as I followed Foggy down the hallway, Penny sleeping soundly against my shoulder. It had taken roughly fifteen minutes to reach the building that Foggy worked in and the walk had been spent entirely in silence, which was completely fine with me. I didn't need to answer any frantic questions or listen to any weird conclusions about my daughter.

She was mine, that was all he needed to know.

"We're here," Foggy gestured to the door he stood in front of and walked in briskly, a weird tenseness to his shoulders.

"Hey Foggy" said an unfamiliar voice, "Matt's in his office and you missed a call,"

"Great, thanks Karen," came the man's strained response, "We have a new client,"

Letting out a breath I hadn't even noticed I'd been holding, I walked into the office, dread lingering, leaving a bad taste in my mouth. My eyes skipped over everything, zooming in to the source of all my nerves and my breath caught. I could see him. I could see him. After so many years, I could actually see him again.

Matthew Micheal Murdock was sitting at a desk, his head bent over, ruffled hair clearly visible from the open door that lead to his office.

Oh god, this was actually happening, I swallowed, taking a deep breath, it didn't matter, it didn't matter, it didn't matter.

"Hi,"

Quickly turning my head away from the man I'd never wanted to see again, I found a blonde woman smiling amicably at me. "My name's Karen," she offered, setting down a file and holding out a hand, "Karen Page."

Adjusting Penny slightly, I took the woman's hand and shook, she was tall, thin and pretty, big blue eyes framed by sleek blonde hair. I could've smirked, I tried not to remember much about my past, but what I did was very clear, such as Foggy's taste in women.

"Juliet Taylor," I smiled back, missing the way Matt's head snapped up, "You a lawyer too?" I tried to make myself sound more confident than I felt, I released her hand and brought mine to help hold up Penny, "Gotta say, I see why Foggy got into law,"

The blonde's laugh echoed through the room, "Sorry, no," she shook her head and picked the file back up, "Thanks, but I'm just the secretary,"

The first grin I'd felt all day slid onto my face, I liked this woman.

"How do you know Foggy?" She asked, smiling right back.

Oof, how would I explain that? "College friend," I supplied, "I knew him and Matt-" I prayed to every deity I knew of that would voice wouldn't crack, "-while they did their Pre-law course,"

"Jules," Foggy called softly, drawing both mine and Karen's attention, "Let's talk, you wouldn't be here if you didn't have a problem,"

Sighing, I nodded, "Yeah, um, it's just" I gestured helplessly to my sleeping toddler. "Do you have a place I can put her?"

The sound of footsteps reached me and, in favor of ignoring them, I stared at Foggy, "I don't wanna wake her up,"

A second of tired expressions later Foggy sighed, "You can put her on my chair," he conceded, gesturing vaguely at a room to my right. Moving quickly, I swept in and gently set Penny down on the padded chair, the sound of raised whispers following me.

"Alright," I mumbled, breathing out slowly, "let's do this,"

Whirling around, I walked back into the small office's main room, closing the door behind me, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Juliet," Matt greeted from where he stood in his own doorway, voice calm and face indifferent, "What a surprise, I didn't know you were back."

I smiled tightly, "I know,"

If he was bothered by my response, he didn't show it. Standing there with all the coolness in the world, his stupid nice suit and his stupid new glasses and his stupid new hairstyle, clenching my jaw, I looked away, hating myself for thinking they looked good on him.

Foggy coughed, breaking the silence, "Well," he clapped his hands, "I hate to interrupt, as awkward as this all is, but we need to get to business."

Nodding quickly, I refocused my attention on the blonde man, my frayed nerves soothing only slightly.

I couldn't focus on Matt, I really couldn't. He was smart, always had been, my lips quirked.

If I talked to him, sooner or later he'd figure out I was hiding something, and from there, it was only a short leap to Penny, and my heart wouldn't be able to take that. Because as much as I loved her, I knew Penny wasn't just mine.

And even if he didn't know about her, Penny's father was smart.

I couldn't focus on Matt.


End file.
